A woman has been slammed online after she blamed her sister-in-law’s miscarriage on her “slim” body shape.
Published on Reddit‘s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/Athrowaway53543 shared her story for the “AITA” community to share their opinions. The viral post has over 6,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she and her sister-in-law, “Valerie,” were never close, but were on “okay terms” when they were together. Things changed when Valerie started making “observations” about her physical health including how “small” her figure was. For example, she would discuss her “flat” chest and “non-existent” behind.
The OP mentioned that Valerie was “blessed” with those body parts as she cares a lot about her appearance. She confirmed she tried her best to not let her comments get the best of her.
The OP explained that she finally got pregnant after three years of trying but unfortunately, had a miscarriage recently which she described as “unexpected” and “quite devastating.”
In an attempt to cheer her up, the OP’s mother-in-law invited her over for dinner as well as Valerie and her husband. During dinner, Valerie brought up her miscarriage.
“She flatout said that the miscarriage happened because of my body and ‘my small and limited potential it has to be able to carry a baby’ [Not gonna lie], this shook me hard. My husband looked at me hoping I’d let it go but I looked at Valerie from head to toe then pointed at her chest and said ‘ Oh I see that’s where all your brains and class melted to.’ She was stunned eyes wide open,” the OP explained.
The argument continued and eventually, the OP told her husband that she wanted to leave. She explained that the car ride home was quiet, but when they returned home he snapped at her saying that she was “out of line” and that Valerie was only making an “observation.” She also refuses to apologize to her.
Newsweek reached out to u/Athrowaway53543 for comment.
Newsweek has published several articles on conflicts with in-laws including a woman who was praised for “embarrassing” her in-laws over an argument at a family wedding, a groom who was supported for making his mother-in-law leave his wedding because of her perfume and a man applauded online for defending his wife after she cursed out her mother-in-law.
What is a miscarriage and how to help a person that had one
As defined by the Cleveland Clinic, a miscarriage is the unexpected ending of a pregnancy in the first 20 weeks of gestation. Signs that someone is experiencing a miscarriage include bleeding that starts out light, then gets heavy, cramps and abdominal pain, low back ache ranging from mild to severe and a decrease in pregnancy symptoms.
According to Planned Parenthood, normal activities including sex, exercise, working and most medications don’t cause miscarriages. However, serious infections, major injuries, certain illnesses like severe diabetes, if one has had two or more miscarriages in the past or if the fertilized egg has an abnormal amount of genes, could cause a miscarriage.
Do you know someone who suffered a miscarriage recently and are looking for ways to support them? According to thebump.com, here are some ways to help them out:
- Acknowledge their loss and validate their emotions.
- Help them with daily chores or errands
- Send a card or a small gift to show that you’re thinking about them.
- Make the effort to include the person or couple in activities.
- Don’t give unsolicited advice.
“I would not be putting up with that from the husband holy shit. Tell that man he can start setting boundaries with his family and defending you or pack his shit [Not the a**hole],” u/Own_Cable_1977 said, receiving the top comment of 12,000 views.
U/Ihavenoidea99999922 wrote, “How could she even think, in the first place, it’s okay to comment on your body at all? Especially after miscarriage?! Skinny shaming is the same as fat shaming! You did what you have to do to defense yourself and maybe you had to do this way before. You’re definetly [Not the a**hole].”
“[Not the a**hole] What your SIL said was just cruel and mean. She deserved what she got, your husband may want to keep the peace, however I don’t think it’s right to be scolding you in the situation. This is 100% on your SIL,” u/IHaveSaidMyPiece exclaimed.
“[Not the a**hole] Your SIL made horrid comments towards you and she’s the one who really owes you an apology. It’s not the first time she’s made nasty comments about your body and it really just shows how insecure she is,” u/Beigetile6565 commented.
“[Not the a**hole]. She shouldn’t be making ‘observations’ that she damn well KNOWS are offensive. I’m sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry your husband doesn’t have your back,” u/Morrighu87 said.